I cannot recall the occasion for the card,
Or whether the picture on the card
Of two bowls of blueberries
Held any significance,
Or what prompted her to write
"I feel I've done nothing for you."
I only recall slipping the card into the breast pocket,
Forgetting with intent, so that on this day,
I could discover at once
What I have carried all along.
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William Donald Nast. Great poem. The last enjambment and last line are superb, as is the intentional non resolution.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion would be to avoid fully endstopping every line at natural pauses. It creates sort of a robotic reading and avoids some really cool enjamb possibilities. So, one suggestion would be to write, "Of two bowls of blueberries held / any significance," which would put held in an interesting double meaning. Another would be, "Or what prompted her to write, 'I feel / I've done nothing for you.' "
Seriously, though, quite a good poem. Quiet and simple, yet poignant in the exact, oddly sad way that finding such a symbol must have been. Impressive work donald.