pretend he is yours
kiss his head
watch him sleep
feel like crying.
It is so easy
to take him in your arms
to pretend.
He changes every day.
He’ll soon be crawling
away from you.
He won’t need you
to carry him around
to prop him on the wooden dresser
so he can giggle
staring at the sight of himself in the mirror.
He won’t need you
to carry him around
to prop him on the wooden dresser
so he can giggle
staring at the sight of himself in the mirror.
Karen, this is very powerful. I had to read it 4 times in a row to take it all in.
ReplyDeleteMy only critique is with the "he changes every day" line. It seems a bit on the nose. Maybe a slight rework. If I may be so bold to suggest something like "you change him every day".
But really, I love it.
Agree with Taylor about the line change. Maybe you don't need to replace it, just cut it?
ReplyDeleteOh Taylor, I like that line suggestion!
ReplyDeleteOr maybe something like "he won't stop growing"
I think I will try to edit this poem a bit and repost it, since I'm so behind in writing new ones...