This is what a haiku should be. The general nature/season statement localized in place, and a wonderfully specific detail in the end to concretize the image and thought.
My one remark would be that 'confused' takes a lot of power out of this great last line. Absolutely loved that you used the first five syllables solely for the degrees.
Let's just go ahead and say it: We Are Not AVerse is an online poetry collective. Now that the pretentious part is over, here's the meat.
We are a handful of young writers - some poets, some prosers - who had the good fortune of convening in one city and sharing each other's company for a few glorious years. We are now dispersed, but hope to use this blog (collective!) to share our work with one another and maintain some part of that communal spirit (of collective responsibility to supporting each other as artists).
Each respective work, obviously, is the property of its writer. So read and enjoy, but be kind and ask if you'd like to use anything you read.
Lastly, if you are visiting, please feel free to comment and participate in our discussions on art, life, fast food, and anything else. Try to keep it constructive, but really: we want your feedback!
Questions, comments, or feedback that doesn't belong on the public web? That's ok! Contact Dinah Finkelstein or Tim DeMay, we are very nice.
This is what a haiku should be. The general nature/season statement localized in place, and a wonderfully specific detail in the end to concretize the image and thought.
ReplyDeleteMy one remark would be that 'confused' takes a lot of power out of this great last line. Absolutely loved that you used the first five syllables solely for the degrees.