Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Terms

For the past nine months
I have shared my body with this city:
allowed the ground’s tremors to rumble
in my chest, the skyscrapers to steal
the sun’s warmth from its rightful place
on my cheek, the heavy air to weigh
my lungs with curry, musk, and garbage.

For nine months I have incubated
in the small rooms of Harlem, Dumbo, Hell’s
Kitchen. I have relinquished my unfettered
right to the sky, accepting the airshaft
and a stolen Central Park afternoon as enough.
I have learned that no space is mine alone.

In the springtime, expecting to come to term
as the perennial flowers do, I found no change.
No great labor to render my body my own again.
No epiphanous pain that ends in joy,
No sudden, primitive love for her.

So I boarded a red bus like a tourist.
The second story retold the city's face
as that of smirking gargoyles, stained
glass jubilation, and proud topless mermaids.

Why did she never reveal herself to me
when I came offering full devotion of body
and mind to the Bacchus temple of her boroughs?

Today I checked my map often and thought,
I am a stranger in a strange land.

This city answered, now we can begin.

6 comments:

  1. Love it. Especially the topless mermaids, the commercialism stuck in with the other aspects of the city, very nice.

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  2. i adore the decreasing stanza lengths and the last three stanzas are among your best, ever.

    my only issue with the preceding ones comes from their marked similarity. each one begins with a statement, clear enough, and then unwinds with a list. I would say either lose that or play it up/do something internally interesting with the lists. maybe beginning with a list of wholly unrelated actions or nouns or whatever and becoming slowly more coherent... i dunno.

    i have to assume that your relation of gestation periods the nine-months repetition is very intentional. effing love as an egg...

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  3. i love and keep coming back to the brief play on physical height & length of "The second story retold"

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  4. Why did she never reveal herself to me
    when I came offering full devotion of body
    and mind to the Bacchus temple of her boroughs?

    DINAH FTW.

    I agree with Tim about the beginning stanzas, they lagged a bit in comparison to the "So I boarded" part and the following stanzas. It gives the speaker actions and her perspective is immediately changed, it really picks up there.

    maybe a little less of the incubating?

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  5. This is interesting feedback.. I think the whole point of the incubating is that it's this long, gestational sickness of the body that's necessary to try and birth the new relationship. But I certainly don't want my readers to get bored, so maybe I can make it more actively miserable, claustraphobic, grounded in the body.

    Thankssss guys :)

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  6. here here!

    favorite moments:
    "he heavy air to weigh
    my lungs with curry, musk, and garbage."

    i smell that now.

    I love the notion that, when you first arrive in the city, you don't feel that disoriented, as you've just arrived and you're expected to. But as the year progresses, and it doesn't feel any MORE unfamiliar, then you actually feel MORE estranged. What an interesting and complex idea. or at least that's what i've extrapolated from your poemz.

    Also: "...Harlem, Dumbo, Hell's / Kitchen..."

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