he speaks the liquid grammar.
the tumbling syntax of a bartender
with bitters in hand, playing shakers
like instruments and separating
a raw egg in a single hand.
he drains it into stainless steel,
the violet hour come round at last
shaving the peel in silence
off an orange
like a scalp.
thin, taut skin – an open blouse
bares no extra fold of flesh
across her freckled
synthetic chest.
it is as bare to the world as
she is barren,
wrinkle free like warm cotton,
fragrant and washed
by others' hands.
this woman avoids
the brown liquors
(they cause wrinkles).
"a vodka drink," she says.
"with pineapple juice
and you guys usually put something special in"
a manicured lawn for hair:
fungal blond foil highlights
Singer threaded eyebrows.
thin lips let drip her flat free words
she talks of metabolism
factual as politics:
the dirth of annualized ingredients,
the danger of calorized drink obligations,
actualizing her asset-backed securities
from a spineless barstool
while somewhere in a far off bungalow
sitting on its own in an acred lot
or underneath clean sheets
the ceremony of innocence
drowns.
at least we all agree
that the proper word
for what's slung round her neck
is choker.
this woman hopefully did something awful to deserve this... haha...
ReplyDeletelove "she talks of metabolism / factual as politics" except that it should perhaps be economics.
the opening paragraph is a red herring, and that plus the title don't seem to match with the thrust of the poem. also, i think with some of the less intuitive images here, you would be well served with more grammatical sentences and punctuation.
and, here comes the 'kill your babies' part which we all hate, the last line isn't doing it for me. i almost expect the 'badum cha' of a drumset afterwards. the penultimate stanza would perhaps mark a more positively ambiguous, interesting conclusion.
good to see you on the blog, ian! remember to label your posts 'Ian' as you post each one (the label bar is the bottom right bar of the post window).
I love the bartender stanza. Suggestion: switch out shaker for a different barback tool, 'cause a shaker really is a musical instrument. "asset-backed securities" in this context is genius.
ReplyDeleteThere's something going on with the repetition of the word "free" here that I don't understand yet, as it pertains to cheap words at a bar and the economics you're playing with, but it comes into her clothes as well. Maybe this is something to play with more? Everything about this woman is "free" of something, and yet she causes the death of innocence. I'm intrigued.
Love that last stanza. Nice work, newb.
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