To Maslow: A Slight Amendment

We now review a theory
in the realm of psychology.
One Maslow sought to estimate
man's curiosity innate
and in form pyramidical
cast Needs all Hierarchical
the which men, if exemplary,
would satisfy successively,
transcending each category
to reach full potentiality.
However, a deficiency:
Maslow thought in 1943!
We must amend but so slightly
to account for temporality,
the advent of technology -
specifically, the T.V.

In the first level, we can see
man's physiological needs:
the need to breathe, the need for sleep,
dispose of waste, drink water, eat.
The TV can't provide these, true,
but an approximate will do:
the required info's all compiled
with Bear Grylls in Man vs. Wild.

The basic needs now being met,
man naturally thinks of next
security for his family,
of health, employ, and property,
and safety from delinquency.
Staying inside and watching TV
takes care of all these, obviously.

To fulfill Love/Belonging/Social Needs
are the sitcoms from the 50's-70's.
Providing acceptance and community,
this level is affirming emotionally.

Next, the need for respect, both internally
and recognition in the public eye.
To cultivate respect for self and humanity,
there's no better option than Judge Judy.

The Cognitive, Aesthetic, and Growth Needs
are all to be found on Sesame Street.

Subsequent to reaching the acme,
man acquires these tendencies:
Efficient Perception of Reality
(Keeping up with the Kardashians and all reality TV),
Heightened Awareness Ethically
(Dexter; Breaking Bad; Weeds),
Philosophical Sensitivity
(The Simpsons, Conan O'Brien, and House, M.D.),
Autonomous Originality
(Joss Whedon, Joss Whedon, Joss Whedon, Joss Whedon),
and Regard for Nature & Universality
(Shark Week, the other stuff on Discovery).

Having followed the entire process precisely,
man will achieve transcendence nicely.
Moreover, his needs, being met by TV,
don't require the aid of society.
Maslow's model, formerly triangulaire,
may be changed to the far more simple square:

Thus we see all man's needs, complex and pristine,
satisfied when he's sitting in front of the screen.