You bought this mug at a yard sale
Because the cartoon frog painted on its side
Had a smile that reminded you of mine.
The dishwasher has stripped the paint away
But I still drink tea from it and think of you.
Your memory has been good to me.
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I'm not loving the last line... but that is the only thing I'm not loving in this poem. The dishwasher image is phenomenal. Kudos. I just think the last line is a bit to straightforward and plain. Maybe change it up a bit.
ReplyDeleteMm, disagree. I love the last line.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Nina. Love the last line, need to earn it a little more.
ReplyDeleteyeah, the last line can work, definitely agree with dinah in Earning it more. i mean, look, the last line is effing sentimental. that's not a bad thing, but this poem is too short to hang a line out there like that without some sort of change before hand, some sort of evolution. as it is, it's basically a summary, so if you want it, it needs to fill, i think, a different function in the poem.
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