and starlight
willed blindness his achievement
a signature, too
in the dark
that we all know
but not how to describe
a chair
beyond the farthest city lights
he sat
half his face
in the gaslimp yellow haze
his other half
deaf but attuned to oil
in the dark
that we all know
but not how to describe
a chair
beyond the farthest city lights
he sat
half his face
in the gaslimp yellow haze
his other half
deaf but attuned to oil
swirls, turpentine
and the bats, of course
if there were bats
and the bats, of course
if there were bats
not sure what the bat business is--but this is awesome--so many twists and turns of phrase--it's pretty swirly, like a van gogh
ReplyDeletei really love it
I like it too. My one issue is that it feels like an abrupt shift from chair to the next line. I'm not sure why it feels that way, but it doesn't seem to flow as nicely as the rest of the poem. Other than that tough, I am entranced.
ReplyDeleteit's because the chair is the only concrete noun on its own line -- gives it a significance i don't think you really want. anyway, ditto. well done sir.
ReplyDeletei think i'd add a dash after 'too,' but other than that i agree with the previous comments. a tight, effective poem, and maybe too many bats.
ReplyDelete