not the words from my mouth
nor the leave of my presence;
not my hand in the darkness,
nor a leaf out of my book.
You cannot take from me, sir
anything I would more willingly
impart unto you as a blessing
except my life, except
my life. Except my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i love this. it is blowing my mind. you are making me think much too deeply for 2 a.m.
ReplyDeletei want more "not the...my..." parts. although, i can't wrestle whether it's because i just want to see what other statements you can make or if maybe the second stanza needs more space/build-up before it hits? there's a very quiet but sure cadence in this poem, like each line builds upon the next, connects, and progresses to the very last line. The repetition of "except my life" is so vulnerably profound? alarming? heart-breaking? but through the repetition some times i read it as "accept"...i don't know if that was intentional or not. that little line has a lot of word power in this poem.
much love girl
I feel the need for full disclosure before you tell me how smart I am again: it's a play on a line from Hamlet, which reads "You cannot, sir, take from me anything I would more willingly part withal, except my life, except my life, except my life." No line breaks though.
ReplyDelete....the line breaks are the best parts! obviously you are smart and i am eh.
ReplyDeletestill love.
this is great. i'm sure you already know how cool leave/leaf is. and i swoon for repetition. very effective short poem.
ReplyDeleteW.O.W. Word to everything everyone else who is smarter than I said before me. I concur.
ReplyDelete