Poems are supposed to be emotional,
or so I've been told.
I want to write a poem about anger.
But I already did that once this week,
and there's not much else
in the way of emotion
inside the tank.
So i'll just sit here
and eat pretzels.
I want to melt cheese over them.
But that would take
too
much
effort.
love the last stanza--the "effort" it takes to jump from line to line is perfect.
ReplyDeleteI give you at least a B-.
ReplyDeleteI think this needs retitled, because the poem sets us up not to read a poem about effort or laziness but about Anger, and thats the feeling that comes through here. The last stanza, because of your wonderful framing of it, is almost Menacing.
ReplyDeleteI think you would perhaps ax the first and fourth stanzas and get down to business a bit more quickly. good stuff though, great example of setting the reader up for an unexpected punch.