bet against it years ago?
This pale art, years ago
already dead, too
withered and dusty to
have survived this long?
We are not
averse to the implications
of our age, we are
not averse to digging wells
into the shell that covers
nothing
anymore, we
are not averse to the profit
gained from
losing.
not sure what the line break at years ago/already dead is doing for you, but I love the gist of this.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the last sentence, although I love the way you build to it. Is it really the profit of losing, or of just barely exceeding expectations? Unless this is actually about stocks, in which case, right on. Also given that this is you, I expected more out of the profit/prophet homonym if you're gonna stick that sucker on the end of a line.
i'm really into this as well, with the exception that dinah mentions. "...profit/gained from/losing" doesn't feel as fresh, declarative, or spoken in protest as what comes before it.
ReplyDeletethe way the repetition works throughout gives it the feeling of a speech - but ending with a trochee/gerund deflates its fiery-ness. why 'losing' and not 'loss?'