formed
We thought it was thought and it
was
A breath and then
breathed
Before there was a garden
were there seeds
Before there was speech
were there sounds
Before there was the act
was there the desire
to act
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Are we?
Stop judging me, Tim.
ReplyDeleteI like the inverse of "there were" + lack of punctuation. On one side what is being said is also being unsaid, but it's a stab towards defensive posturing - there's always a beginning to wait for. One picky suggestion for the last stanza: change "the act" to "an act"?
I fervently disagree -- if you're going to be all hushed and religious, it has to be the definitive act and the definitive desire. I was wondering why you didn't capitalize "he."
ReplyDeleteThe speech stanza stands out to me, only because you take it beyond humanity with the question about the garden, and that immediately brings me to buggy/swampy sounds, so I feel like I know the answer to that. I think the length and pacing to the final stanza are right, maybe a tweak for the penultimate?