Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Waragi

Overturned truck
A herd of jerrycans
While the man is being beaten
We steal gin
Lira Lira
War gin
We steal the courage
To drive away
Laughing
Without glances over shoulders
To see the mob descend

Posted by at
Labels:

2 comments:

  1. ninaApril 3, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    We steal the courage/To drive away

    Best lines. Maybe end it here?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tim DeMayApril 3, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    agree with nina – there is something inauthentic about "without glances over shoulders / to see mob descend," because then how do you know it was descending?

    Also, i like the disparateness of the phrases that come before "We steal the courage" so maybe you could push that in that last couplet nina pointed out? "We steal courage / Drive away" or something like that?

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)