It looked like it was raining
so we tried not to get wet
and hung umbrellas
from the sky like lily-pads.
I mailed a package and you
waited outside. We
both agreed that you should have been
smoking. When will it be
too late to recover the lists
we never made?
Shake what must be a hole
in the umbrella's worth
of rain from your hair and put
French music
on the stereo so we can pretend to be deaf
and transcendental.
"When will it be / too late to recover the lists / we never made?" - awesome
ReplyDeleteI get really lost in the syntax of "Shake what must be a hole / in the umbrella..." etc--
I would love to see all of these together, working in a new way--I think they all touch on the verge of something really exciting but I haven't quite felt what they are with each poem--it seems just around the bend.
I love when you let yourself go into the "I did this" " we did this" mode--you seem to write so effortlessly there.
yeah, the syntax of that line is probably too much... the attempts was for it to read "Shake what must be a-hole-in-the-umbrella's worth of rain"
ReplyDeletethanks for the comments on the I/we formations. i think they are crucial to what this sequence will turn into: namely, each poem will in some way inform on a core Thing that roughly equals a thought like 'the end of the world already came and we missed it,' sorta like spokes on a wheel, like each poem is in a piece of a circle around the centerpiece, which is not directly named. but we'll see if that works out.
oh my gosh.
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