Friday, April 9, 2010

Rubbed Raw

My heart is still raw, but you wouldn’t know it.
Every morning I groggily bundle it in soft layers
and a hood and usher it out the door, making sure
it has not forgotten its backpack. I zip angel food
cake and encouraging notes into its lunchbox.

I’ve gotten my heart the best headphones money can buy.
They fit perfectly over its ears, with a bass boost for the beat
so it does not forget its purpose. I pad the cells
of my calendar to keep it from rattling, so no emptiness
makes sonorous the gaping void that might echo
thoughts of her back upon themselves indefinitely.

Most days it stays pretty well cushioned. The bumps
and sharp turns of the day knock my heart against
its casing, but it is bottom-heavy and well grounded.
It almost always rights itself before anything spills out.

The trick is to make sure that, like a foot in a new
shoe, it is not rubbed too long in the same place.
I don’t think there’s a thing in this world I could talk about
for twenty minutes straight without weeping.
Polish a pocketed penny with your thumb for half a day,
and tell me its luster restored brings no tear to your eye.

3 comments:

  1. Dinah this is excellent. I do have one note though. I don't think sonorous works. The whole child metaphor is carried out well by the word choice throughout with that exception. Every other image is so relatable and every day that the word sonorous sticks out, but the attention it draws doesn't really elevate at that point in the poem. The only other words that sticks out like this is luster, but coming at the end of the poem the added weight works better there.

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  2. This really tugs at my heartsrings--zipping up angel food cake and encouraging notes in its lunchbox!

    Conceits can be so overwrought--and I think you avoided this entirely--

    I would say clean up some rhythmic clunkiness and you've got yourself a grand poem

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  3. I think the end was a bit too tidy, and the 'you' in it brings up to me an odd disconnect of having second-person in the first and last lines of the poem but nowhere in between.

    For some reason I read this and though "creative essay."

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