just in case my baby calls,
so just in case
my baby calls, you can say
I was taken, all at once.
And just in case my baby
calls know that it was me
and not me, that both were taken,
that both
left.
I am reading a prophesy of what is to come.
And what is to come says Go.
So just in case I'm not around
when I won't be around and my baby calls,
tell her I've gone,
tell her I'm taken.
Tell her it's the same thing.
Holy shit, Tim.
ReplyDeleteYou lose me completely in the second stanza, so I'd say either clarify or cut. But the rest is like a damn punch in the gut.
ditto.
ReplyDeletethere's something so musical about this - i read it and imagined it happening along to music. but i have absolutely no idea what kind of music (if any) would match its intensity.
i guess that's what makes it a poem.
i thought of music too, but like 90s music. maybe dolores o'riordan should sing this.
ReplyDelete