politics is
rhetoric tactics and syntax
repetition strategy and anthrax
stroke my caucus
pull my lever
release my figures
from the polls
go and go
and go until
it is morning in america
and there is a low-strung star
spangle not what your country can for you
let freedom swing or try
(it's tricky with this slippery liquid handle)
draw surveils across the huddled masses
tap on liberty to see if she's hollow
but bate your rust-green
breath
save it for the crowd
because Auntie Sam
is cooking in drag
again
and it stinks in here
problem is
it makes you tactical and gassy
Auntie's abiotic wholesome eats
her meals proliferate
nuclear gatherings
causing a bawdy global belly swell
in the body politic
whoever took it out of the fridge
drizzled her melting salad
in the bowlpot and forgot
to plug the damn thing in
whoever never activated an appliance
whoever should know better by now
that the sockets of democracy
are not proprietary or to be shorted and burnt
as black as crocket's coon skin cap
tilting back to watch the night sky
and one last expedition crusoe with the eye electric
Uncle Sam is off this week
and busy with a tumbler
proselytizing some jazzy combination
of peanut butter and voting rights
while he stumbles on his long journey through the night
into the graveyard of empires
repetition strategy and anthrax
stroke my caucus
pull my lever
release my figures
from the polls
go and go
and go until
it is morning in america
and there is a low-strung star
spangle not what your country can for you
let freedom swing or try
(it's tricky with this slippery liquid handle)
draw surveils across the huddled masses
tap on liberty to see if she's hollow
but bate your rust-green
breath
save it for the crowd
because Auntie Sam
is cooking in drag
again
and it stinks in here
problem is
it makes you tactical and gassy
Auntie's abiotic wholesome eats
her meals proliferate
nuclear gatherings
causing a bawdy global belly swell
in the body politic
whoever took it out of the fridge
drizzled her melting salad
in the bowlpot and forgot
to plug the damn thing in
whoever never activated an appliance
whoever should know better by now
that the sockets of democracy
are not proprietary or to be shorted and burnt
as black as crocket's coon skin cap
tilting back to watch the night sky
and one last expedition crusoe with the eye electric
Uncle Sam is off this week
and busy with a tumbler
proselytizing some jazzy combination
of peanut butter and voting rights
while he stumbles on his long journey through the night
into the graveyard of empires
first, my pettiness: can you put a title in, even if it's Untitled? that way, people can click on your individual post and all, and it shows up on the sidebar by it's title/nontitle.
ReplyDeletei had trouble parsing through this... it felt so vast and unrelated, which very well might be the point of showing America in a poem... i also have personal issues with avoiding sentences completely...
that said, there were great moments here. i guess the question is if these moments should be allowed to create a tight poem or if you want them surrounded by bits that are a bit more billowy and uncertain, like the melting pot/melting salad trope.
i would def consider removing crusoe, at least, since he was English and that feels very out of place.
this is a great poem for me to read simple because it is so alien to my writing and what i usually read, so take my comments with more than their share of salt.