Workplace Rules

1.
Be safe, and
conscientious.
Keep your hands at your
sides and hum the National
Anthem.

2.
Remember:
the future of the office
and your coworkers
and the world
has climbed upon you.
Smile,
and stock your desk with snacks
and sedatives.

3.
Imagine everything as a Greek Myth.

4.
Work Hard.
Accept Defeat.

5.
Be a player in the dominant office
atmosphere.
Respect others and finish
nothing,
politely.

6.
Upon dying ask your wife
to drag your naked body
into the middle of the town square
to test her love.