i really like this idea of using food as symptoms for ___. (i guess a general emotional unease?) it's not very clear in your poem, but "emotional eater" is a loaded term and i think it may be doing more work than it should. i'd like more food symptoms though b/c at the last stanza you haven't earned the "So yeah. I guess..." it's like the speaker of this poem is pre-empting a reader's judgment before the reader has time to really form one. my first response before the end was, "oh. he does not feel well."
although i think the last stanza reads a bit defensive, i think this sense of self criticism could really work for the poem, as most emotional eaters know what they are doing. (as i push my nutella jar/spoon closer to me...).
taking the comfort from food and making it painful, or at least uncomfortable, is really great. i think you can play with it more.
Let's just go ahead and say it: We Are Not AVerse is an online poetry collective. Now that the pretentious part is over, here's the meat.
We are a handful of young writers - some poets, some prosers - who had the good fortune of convening in one city and sharing each other's company for a few glorious years. We are now dispersed, but hope to use this blog (collective!) to share our work with one another and maintain some part of that communal spirit (of collective responsibility to supporting each other as artists).
Each respective work, obviously, is the property of its writer. So read and enjoy, but be kind and ask if you'd like to use anything you read.
Lastly, if you are visiting, please feel free to comment and participate in our discussions on art, life, fast food, and anything else. Try to keep it constructive, but really: we want your feedback!
Questions, comments, or feedback that doesn't belong on the public web? That's ok! Contact Dinah Finkelstein or Tim DeMay, we are very nice.
taylor, thanks for ruining the garlic knot.
ReplyDeletei really like this idea of using food as symptoms for ___. (i guess a general emotional unease?) it's not very clear in your poem, but "emotional eater" is a loaded term and i think it may be doing more work than it should. i'd like more food symptoms though b/c at the last stanza you haven't earned the "So yeah. I guess..." it's like the speaker of this poem is pre-empting a reader's judgment before the reader has time to really form one. my first response before the end was, "oh. he does not feel well."
although i think the last stanza reads a bit defensive, i think this sense of self criticism could really work for the poem, as most emotional eaters know what they are doing. (as i push my nutella jar/spoon closer to me...).
taking the comfort from food and making it painful, or at least uncomfortable, is really great. i think you can play with it more.