into the thick rubber
gloves.
Slide your feet
into the thick-soled
boots.
You will require help
with the laces --
your newly chubby fingers
lack the dexterity
needed to tie a knot.
Attach the hose
to the security-seal
bracket.
Tighten the helmet
and feel secure beneath the
brass.
You will see differently
through the circular glass pane --
learn to swivel your shoulders
to compensate for a new
lack of peripheral vision.
Step off the dock
and try to wave goodbye --
the suit will make it difficult.
Turn on your headlamp quickly
or you will get lonely
in the dark.
love it
ReplyDeletelove the directions that sound like a carefully tweaked found poem.
the last stanza! I already had a kind of feeling of lonely foreboding by going through the process of suiting up, and then when I got to that, it sealed the deal. Love the way you broke the lines up so that "in the dark" is the very last moment. great stuff.
why Wauwinet, 1953?
SOOO behind...
ReplyDeleteOK, so is this diving? A guy diving in Nantucket in 1935 in one of those old diving suits that now are mainly in fishtanks?
the description is great, the slow adding and dawn of comprehension.
watch your adjectives and adverbs. 'newly chubby' 'thick...thick' etc. often times verbs like 'wiggle' can get across a lot of describing words in a great, gestalt sorta way - to me, after wiggle and rubber gloves i've already got chubby fingers (as much as i want of them) and thick gloves.
the third to last stanza i think needs edited down - peripheral is probably unnecessary.
in a less specific comment, i felt like i couldnt grasp the age of the subject... at times it seemed adolescent (tying the laces, etc), but the emotion was very adult/existential, and do kids get to wear those diving suits? unless im off on that...